Random thoughts compiled

#1 Halloween would be cooler if it weren't on a Sunday. I was actually in the mood to dress up as the Wicked Witch of the West. Yeah, pretty sure I haven't worn an "ugly" costume in YEARS. I mean, as a kid, I was always a princess and in college...well no one dresses up spooky or ugly because it's college and you want to catch a boy's eye! ha. (don't deny it!!!)

#2 I'm sick and it sucks. Gargling hydrogen peroxide isn't doing the wonders it's supposed to.

#3 About a month until the race. I'm trying to sell my registration to someone else (with my foot injury and now illness, it doesn't work out to even train!). I have resolved that if I can't get rid of it, I'll do the race anyway and just walk/jog it. Might as well do it since I spent almost $100 on it!

#4 My husband wants to go dancing tonight and I can't decide if I'm up for it. Being sick and all...

#5 The previous thought followed my rant on Max and me not taking advantage of our "freedom" (pointed out by others). We spend our time babysitting other people's kids rather than going out on dates. Which led me to propose we should just have a baby anyway since we OBVIOUSLY don't appreciate the "freedom" we have now. He immediately responded with "let's party more." Typical.

#6 I wish it were Christmas. I've already been playing piano xmas music and listening to xmas music on itunes. What a lovely time of the year! Not to forget, our one year anniversary. I hope he spoils me ;)

#7 Max and I will be the only ones here in EDH during Thanksgiving.... What will we do?

#8 I know! We'll go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. YES. Can't wait.

#9 I'm watching X-Men 3. It's kind of halloween-ish in the sense of weird looking mutants and ..stuff. It was that or Young Frankenstein, which I'll probably watch too.

#10 I miss Max.

I'm a Giants "fan"

While blow drying my hair, I started thinking about the Giants. How awesome is it that they made it to the World Series?! Since dating and marrying Max, it has been his mission to convert me to baseball. I remember last year when he would get so sad and SO MAD that the Giants weren't doing so well. I didn't understand why he let it affect him so much...I still don't!
This year was the year of my conversion and what a great year to start! Very exciting games; I recognize the players and can put a face to a name (for the most part); I have a crush on Buster Posey; I watched a couple games ALONE without Max there which is saying something for my taking a liking to the sport; I have even clapped for the Giants when they got a run, hit, double, whatever!

And then I started thinking about all the boo-hooers on Facebook. "Where were all these giants 'fans' years ago?" "Look at these Giants 'fans'... everyone loves a winner don't they." "I'm the only REAL Giants fan..." "Since when did people start liking baseball?" 

You get the drift, right?

**NOTE: I warn you, I will be ranting! So stop reading if you don't want to hear it, or keep reading if you want to know what I have to say...

First, what's so wrong with being excited for a sports team when they are doing so well? Especially when they represent N. Cal? Or when you have a husband who is a Giants fanatic and you're simply creating some common ground...

Second, everyone has to start SOMEWHERE when it comes to liking anything, particularly sports teams. And WHY NOT this year when the Giants are doing so great? Yeah, we do like winners. We do like success. It's exciting and gives us hope they can make it even further.

Third, who cares if you've loved them for years and years. I'm sure the Giants' success this year means more to you than us new "fans" but that doesn't mean you can get up on your high horse and look down on all the new kids. You should be HAPPY that your team has so much more support!!! How many times have the Giants expressed gratitude for their fans? (p.s. that means ALL fans, new and old)

Forth, the real test will be if all the new Giants fans will be just as dedicated and supportive NEXT season. A new year, a fresh start, and no one knows how well they will perform then.

Let's go Giants!

Arizona Trip

For a few days, I got to babysit these three kiddos. Love them a LOT. I can't wait to see them again. Kamryn will be walking the next time I see her, I'm sure of it! They grow up too fast!!!

 Kam was just hanging on the stairs. And then I think it turned into her getting stuck. Of course, being the girl that I am, I had to take a picture because she looked too precious.

Then she started crying. Sad face :( Don't worry, she was happy again when I saved her.

Waking up from her nap

Letters

Have you ever come across old missionary letters? Today, I did. I re-read most of them, and I think I'd die reading what I wrote to those boys. Seriously! One letter makes no sense at all because he is just answering all my questions or responding to what I said about how life is going.

And I didn't write many boys, and I didn't write for long :( Looking back, I wish I was better; I know how it can be an appreciative and a supportive gesture for missionaries serving two years. Whether or not I took a particular interest in any of those boys is for me to know only ;) My sister, Alexis is writing her missionary, Jared Johnson. I congratulate her for being so strong! He comes home in April and she cannot wait. It's fun when his letters arrive here in California and I'll text her saying something like, "I GOT A LETTER FROM JARRREEEDD!" She is very, very eager to have it forwarded to her in Idaho.

I love the missionaries. Every time I see them riding their bicycles, or talking with me personally, I have great admiration for what they do. When they speak in Church, I'm extra attentive; I'm still young (only 21!) so I feel like I can still relate to them on some level. I think I could have served a mission and I have thought it many times before getting married and even after. Good news is I can still have that opportunity when I'm an old woman. :)

Back to these letters. What makes them so special (and a reason why I'll never throw them out) probably has to do with their testimonies. It would have been great (if I kept writing them) to see how much they grew from the early days in the MTC to the end of their mission. And a couple of them were very sweet in expressing to me  that I'm "a daughter of God and [I'm] very valuable" not only to Heavenly Father but to them as well (as friends people! At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it goes). Fun to see a different side to these friends of mine since Freshmen year. I'm grateful those" general" emails could get forwarded every week from their families!

President Hinckley answers the question why serving a mission really is the "best two years":
I think I can safely say that for many young men a mission represents the greatest challenge they will ever face. They have been given the assignment of going into a world that for the most part is indifferent to their message. They are out working in all kinds of weather. They have to adjust to new living conditions, they are a long distance from home, and they have been taken out of normal social life. All of these things are difficult. The whole situation calls for tremendous adjustment and self-discipline in addition to faith and humility. They feel the need to get on their knees and plead with the Lord for his help. Out of all this comes a quality that is invaluable not only to them during their missions, but throughout their lives. All of us need to cultivate self-discipline and integrity, and there is no place on earth quite like a mission to build these qualities.

And there you have it!

I am in love with this song

A friend posted this on Facebook. And I have listened to it like ten times. I love to be romantic and be romanced (if only Max could step up his game!). This is such a sweet song! I love the acoustics.

Project Runway Drama

For any of you who watch Project Runway, the recent episode was a bit of over kill. Poor Michael C. Nobody likes him, everybody hates  him. "He can't sew"; "He has no design... no style." He was accused of cheating. And yet, he keeps winning. I relished in Heidi's comment about his design. She was very pleased and said something like, "People kept saying you couldn't sew. And who was that again? Oh wait, she isn't here!" (BTW, she was talking about Ivy).

The recent episode was all about designing for Heidi Klum's collection. The designers created 3 looks, with additional help. That meant past contestants and even more drama. 

Ivy...wow, I can't stand Ivy... she stirs up the pot again by accusing Michael C. of cheating. She claims he is evil and that she believes in karma and he will get whats coming to him. And with spectacular editing, right after claiming her belief in karma, a clip is shown of her eye getting shot at by her sewing machine. Yes.

April is another designer that needs to shut her mouth. She has done much better as the season goes on, but she is always ragging on Michael C. April and Gretchen both have an attitude like, "OMG, I can't believe the judges love Michael C.'s work the best; I feel like what the **** am I doing here?!" Those two need to get off their high horse.

Now I'm not claiming Michael C. as my favorite designer. I just can't believe how dramatic and selfish the other designers are when it comes to his particular designs. 

Mondo has been one I have consistently favored and he has a little attitude himself. Here are a couple I really liked:

And here's the man himself.

I really love the show. My dad can't stand it. He gawks at the so-called "fashion." I exclaimed that they were talented individuals and he said "THAT's a talent?" (this coming from a man that doesn't care what he wears). YES IT'S A TALENT! Silly dad.

President Boyd K. Packer Controversy

On Facebook I came across a group with the title of "WE LOVE YOU-President Boyd K. Packer." At first, I thought "did he pass away?" Upon further inspection, I came to find that it was a group about supporting President Packer's statement on homosexuality and same-sex marriage in his October 2010 General Conference talk. There were plenty of comments supporting President Packer and there were plenty of comments against President Packer claiming his "ignorance" and "stupidity." 


My mother explained that this controversy was even on the news. I had no idea. I had no idea that hate mail was sent to President Packer; that gay rights activists came protesting in front of the SLC temple because of this very talk. First of all, I was stunned by all the negative comments and criticisms against President Packer. I, in no way took offense to his address. In fact, I re-read his talk at LDS.org and still stand by my previous feelings about the talk. 


I went online to read more on the event. The Human Rights Campaign for LGBT's accused Packer for making dangerous statements regarding the immorality of same-sex attraction: 
"Packer’s inaccurate and dangerous rhetoric comes on the heels of the suicides of at least four teenagers over the past month, all victims of anti-gay bullying or harassment. An additional seven teens committed suicide in the past year in one Minnesota school district alone; three of the teens’ suicides were connected to anti-gay bullying."  


Let me pause right here. In fact, no where in President Packer's talk does it directly say or even imply that harassment and bullying of LGBT is acceptable. No where. The notion that the Human Rights Campaign (as well as many nonmembers) tie his statements to the hate, bullying or harassment and eventual suicides of LGBT's is out of line. I read a comment by someone who claimed that President Packer should have waited for another Conference session to address this issue. How blind is the world when they cannot see. "The guilty take the truth to be hard." There will never be a "better time" to address what God has inspired his prophets and apostles to share, even a topic as sensitive as this one. It is unfortunate the number of suicides that have occurred but that cannot detract from what the Lord what's us to hear now. And certainly, the message of this talk was never meant to hate those who have same-sex attraction. The Church has always been compassionate and kind to those with same-gender attraction, both inside and outside of membership. The Church released this statement:

“However, those familiar with the Church’s doctrine on the importance of marriage and family know it is based on principles of respect and love for all of God’s children. We have continually emphasized that there is no room in this discussion for hatred or mistreatment of anyone.”

I love how Deseret News puts this next part into words, following the previous statement made from the Church:

"This is not new — it mirrors, for example, how the LDS Church helped to champion a Salt Lake City ordinance banning discrimination of gays and lesbians in housing and employment. And it is consistent with how the LDS Church has ministered to members with same-gender attraction."

"In a 2007 article in the LDS Church's Ensign magazine, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland relates a conversation with a self-described gay member of the LDS Church: 'You are first and foremost a son of God, and He loves you. What's more, I love you. My Brethren among the General Authorities love you.'"

Are you listening? "...He loves you.... I love you.... My Brethren among the General Authorities love you."

Activists have taken "a statement out of context, embellish[ed] it with selective interpretation, presume[d] hostile intent, and then use[d] the distortion to isolate an entire group, in this case a church." (Deseret News)

There is no need to state once again the LDS position on the sanctity of marriage, or homosexuality. But there is a blurred line between sin and sinner for many nonmembers, and even members, which has lead to this hostile scrutiny of President Packer. Remember, we do not hate the sinner, but we cannot condone the sin. Let me repeat, we do not hate the sinner, but we cannot condone the sin.

I love my Heavenly Father. I know He has sent living prophets to this earth, to teach us and guide us in these troubled times. I know that through prayer and study of not only the scriptures, but of modern day revelation from our living prophets as well, we can come to know the truth of these things. And I know my Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us perfectly. He is a true embodiment of what it means to truly love another, and He wants us all to return to live with Him again one day so long as we submit to His will and dedicate our lives to His cause.

Recent Reads

Well, I finished this book. It was ok. Nothing that left me thinking, "WOW, now that is a great book!" The ending was not what I expected; it was weak; it did have a sense of hope, but after all that had happened with the Earth, I couldn't imagine conditions ever getting better... I mean the moon isn't just going to move back to where it was. I just didn't believe the author. I want to be convinced and captivated by the author. I wasn't sold on it.

I did, however, think about what life would be like if those circumstances were upon us. How sad it would be; scary even. So, it did get me thinking outside of the novel...which I guess is pretty cool. I was irritated with the main character a lot which means the novel sparked emotion from me. I love when a novel can do that because it means I was at least IN the story.

Cirque Du Freak: A Living Nightmare is a...weak story. Quickly thrown together, there's a lack of detail and character development. Darren Shan, the main character, goes to a freak show. There his facination with a special spider leads to theft, lies, near death of his friend, and don't forget he becomes a VAMPIRE. The only part that was detailed and could create a visual in my mind was what he did to leave his mortal life behind and join Mr. Crepsley. **NOTE: I only read this because I saw a quote from J.K. Rowling herself (Harry Potter) saying how great the book was.

The way this book was written is definitely for young people (Though I know HP and Twilight could probably be put in that category...actually no, EVERYONE LOVED those series...) and it showed. I wasn't intrigued; I only finished it because I hate putting a book away once I've started it. 

WHAT'S NEXT?

Recommended by Meghan Getz. I'm excited! The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is still out at the library and I'm still on the waiting list... Until then, I'm happy I have a book to keep me busy! Keep those recommendations coming!

I didn't run yesterday, but I did today.

YESTERDAY

I went to the Temple yesterday. A much needed visit. The best was when I was in the celestial room by myself. It was so peaceful, I didn't want to leave.

A TON of new kids for art class. New session just started and classes are full to the brim at Gold Ridge. We are actually going to get a third class started! I still love my job.

Karate class was just great. Learning more and more every week which means I'm getting closer and closer to my black belt!

TODAY

Slow day. I don't even get to teach art class today since it's "vacation day" for Silva Valley Elementary. Luckily, my mom had some "business" for me to take care of for her..

And yes, according to the title of this post, I ran today. Not yesterday like I planned. 3 miles. Not a bad start (at least I keep telling myself that). And I didn't run it comfortably. WAKE UP CALL. I fear that after I run this marathon, I'll feel like I HAVE to run another one to make up for how terrible my training is going. I was hoping this would be my first and last marathon. I'm not one for the grueling weekend runs alone.

TOMORROW

Art Class.

Karate Class.

Run another 3 miler. I better run.

Today is the day.

I'm going to start running again.
I had that same plan...exact plan, yesterday.
The results? Nada.

But today is the day.

Remember, I can only do 3 miles max. Perhaps not even that with my foot condition.

If it's so short, why could I not just get out and do it yesterday... Less than 2 months until the marathon. I decided it wouldn't be fair of me to place a time goal on it seeing I lost an entire month worth of training. And we all know what can happen in a month...more like the "what we don't do and what we do eat" scenario. As in, little exercise, and a lot of snacking, drinking shakes, and being a little bit lazy.

But no. Today is the day. 2 months exactly. December 5th, 2010. Goal: just cross the finish line. I can do this! I-know-it,-I-know-it!-And-if-I-keep-telling-myself-that,-I'll-probably-start-believing-it-and-my-body-will-miraculously-get-strong-again-and-I-won't-kick-myself-in-the-rear-for-going-through-this-torture-and-all-will-be-well! phew...

CTR

Sometimes all it takes is walking out of the room. And I'll tell you what, I'd rather sit by myself happy, than rolling with the crowd..

I had a little experience this Conference weekend. It was a very humbling experience as I broke down in tears. I felt like the situation I was in was tearing my soul to pieces. Literally, I could feel my spirit being torn and tattered. I walked away, feeling relief, guilt, and stupidity. How could I compromise my standards? How could I place my fear of men above my fear of God? I was brought down, and I am thankful for such an experience.

In Conference, we heard a talk about representing names. It came to my mind, as I was writing in a personal journal, that I represent my Savior. I represent the name of Jesus Christ. I should have never compromised my standards for men, when it's my Savior that I love and strive to emulate. Missionaries are not the only representatives of this Church; they may wear name-tags but I, as well as thousands of other members, are also representatives. We exemplify the Savior through our choices, our thoughts, our actions, and our desires. I failed this weekend on this account. And I felt the guilt, and remorse that came as I cried, and my heart was heavy-laden with the burden I unneccessarily placed upon myself.

I know my Savior lives and he loves me despite my follies. I love him and I will always aspire to something greater than myself, greater than this life. I'm thankful that I was brought so low in order to reflect on who's side I'm on, and who I represent as a member of the LDS Church, and in doing so I saw the good, the light, and the hope that comes with the Atonement.  May you find such experiences!

"...if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to ^chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of ^dhell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my [daughter], that all these things shall give thee ^eexperience, and shall be for thy good." 
D&C 122: 7

General Conference

I'm sitting here, in-between sessions, and I cannot help but be grateful for the love I have for the gospel. I am so grateful for the drive I have to be better, to pray more, to study, to be the very best I can be for my Savior.

I am grateful that I look forward to this weekend, and that I WANT to watch every session. And I do. I know it's hard for many people to fit it in on busy schedules, or want to fall asleep (who hasn't done that...), which is why I am even more grateful that I strive so hard to be better. To make it fit in my schedule, to write in my journal so that I can stay awake and focus on the messages shared.

I wasn't always that way. Believe me. I ignored Saturday sessions, slept through most of Sunday's sessions. Didn't take notes (not that you have to, but it helps me). I never really gave thought to what was said; never really went below the surface. It wasn't until I entered college that I was really converted to changing my life, not in major ways necessarily, but with the little things. And the little things start adding up!

I guess maturity is part of it. Personal revelation and testimony are others.

Anyway..

WATCH IT.